Are you thinking of embarking on a polyamorous relationship? Then you need to think carefully about if it’s right for you and if you’re prepared to follow the rules that come with it. Let’s take a closer look at polyamory and the main polyamory rules.
What is a poly relationship?
What is polyamorous is a common question. It can be difficult for people to understand how this kind of relationship can work to keep all partners happy. After all, society teaches us that the rules of monogamy are the only way to run a relationship successfully. Monogamy is a traditional ideal, and so an alternative to this can be confusing and hard to grasp. A polyamorous relationship involves several partners, and in order for it to work, everyone must be committed to including other people in the relationship.
A poly relationship should not be confused with an open relationship. In an open relationship, one or both partners desire sexual relationships outside of each other. In polyamory, the point is to fall in love with several people at the same time. There’s a clear difference between open relationship and polyamory.
The three big polyamorous dating rules
Rules are very important when it comes to polyamorous dating. Rules provide structure and order, helping to keep a relationship stable and strong. What else will keep all partners happy and content? Rules help make sure that everyone in relationship with multiple partners is having their needs met. Without rules, this kind of relationship can quickly descend into chaos.
Treat others with respect
This is one of the most important polyamorous relationship rules. It involves treating all partners with compassion, including the partners of your partners. Even if you wouldn’t necessarily date them yourself, it’s important to recognise that they have the right to be there as your partners have chosen them. Even if you dislike them or feel jealous, you need to deal with this and treat them with respect. If you can’t do this, you need to reconsider whether a poly relationship is for you.
Don’t try to control the hierarchy
Don’t try to control the hierarchy in a poly relationship in order to make yourself the “top dog”. You can’t make your relationship the highest or most important. Moulding other people to create your ideal of what you think the relationship should be like won’t work and may end causing resentment within the group. Poly relationships are best when they’re given space to grow and evolve naturally.
Don’t impose yourself on others
If your partner is sleeping with someone, you might think that you should be too. However, poly relationships simply don’t work like this. It’s not your partner’s responsibility to find you people to have sex with, and you should never pressure them to do so. There’s a line between asking for what you need and telling people what to do. This comes back to treating your partners and their partners with respect.
Polygamous relationships can be wonderful and fulfilling if all partners understand and follow the rules. The guidelines in this article can help to build loving, compassionate and stable relationships in which everyone feels valued and empowered. Whilst they may not guarantee that a relationship will last forever, it’s a good start!